Men Are Just Happier People – What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress R15000. Tux rental-R150. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. You don’t have to worry about getting fired because you refused to sleep with the boss. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or maul your feet. One mood all the time, one beer too many just adds torque. Phone conversations are over in 60 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars and doors. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Men don’t get degraded in public by their husband’s chauvinistic jokes, women are too concerned of their husbands leaving with half the money and too busy cooking, cleaning, serving to make up and tell embarrassing and degrading jokes about men.Your underwear is R29.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have bra-strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You never have to bleed yourself half to death once a month and still be expected to keep the pose at home and at work.You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You don’t have to carry a growing, live weight for 9 months, while throwing up every morning, go through labour pains akin to Japanese torture and then still look after and wipe up after the “little dears” for the rest of your life until they hopefully leave home one day.
Never have to worry about your husband leaving you because rearing children has interrupted your career and promotional value and you earn less, and because menopause hormone changes and child bearing have deprived you of your looks. Men get sexier with age like Sean Connery and simply take another younger wife.
You can secretly sleep around with anyone that tickles your fancy and go for a wild night out at the strip joint without being called a slut by the rest of society. If women stray they are still burnt at the stake, socially that is not with fire and wood anymore.You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 mins, failing which you can delegate to wifey because clearly women like shopping for over 24 hours a day at Christmas for everybody else too, after which they still have to cook, wrap presents, write cards, clean the house, entertain the guests, wash up and tidy afterwards.
No wonder men are happier!